My Husband The Son AND Father

My father-in-law was awesome. I think about him often, at random times. I don't know if anyone realizes how much I miss him. I don't express that very often, I don't want to undermine my mother-in-law losing her soulmate or my husband & his sisters losing their dad. There were several times that felt as if Al was my advocate in the family when things would get rough (as they do in a family), it felt like he always liked me and approved of his son's choice. I miss him. And I miss my husband having a dad.
His illness became very severe in 2010. Once he was admitted to the hospital, he spent time in ICU and eventually hospice but never made it back home. It was extremely rough for Marshall. I also don't think anyone, besides myself, realizes how rough his dad's illness and death has been. Of course, most would assume this would be rough on a son who was very close to his father. But my husband doesn't voice his feelings. Marsh told me that if I hadn't been there for him during this, he might not have grieved properly. He feels safe with me, can let his guard down. That is what I'm here for. Through this and whatever else life throws at us.
I think Marshall thinks about him at random times, too. Sometimes, it seems that Marsh is randomly hostile. Like he is in a momentary bad mood. I wonder if those are the moments that his dad crosses his mind and he's feeling especially sad. I keep trying to remind myself to let this go, don't add to the hostility, just in case he is grieving a little bit.
Al's granddaughter was there when he passed away and we didn't even know (well, of course we knew Isla was there...but Ashley was, too. At least some form of her was). I had been feeling awful. I figured it had been sleep deprivation and too much coffee to counteract it, nerves, stress, sadness. A few weeks later, we found out that our little Ashley was on her way. It was bittersweet, the kind of news Marshall would want to immediately share with his dad. But having his own baby on the way gave him something to look forward to after such a devastating loss.
Al didn't officially meet Ashley, but I know he sees her, how beautiful she is and what a great dad Marshall is. So this Father's Day, when Marshall is celebrating his first as a dad (I told him he can celebrate like his dad would - crab legs & the US Open), I know his dad will be with him!

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.